By Joel Thurtell
Older I get, the more I can’t stand public places with loud music or concentrated high levels of chatter.
Know what I mean?
Stopped going to a wonderful little Italian joint in Northville, Michigan because I couldn’t hear the people I was with, who were sitting just a foot or two away from me. The acoustics in the small room aimed all the decibels at me.
Well, tonight Karen and I were having dinner with Donna Z and her pal, Bob. We were sitting at a table outside. Very pleasant, temperature just right for short sleeves. I’m nursing a bottle of Bass Ale and wishing I could take an ax to the loudspeakers. Rock music was playing, and it forced us to talk louder.
We got to know Donna Zajonc last summer in McGregor Bay. Her place is just about within sight of ours if you know where to look between a couple of granite islets. It’s a small brown cottage with a big screened veranda on the way to Blasted Channel. She tools around the Bay in her big Stanley utility boat with a shiny 20-hp Merc. As we got to know DOnna, we realized that she lives in Ann Arbor.
Why not get together near our other homes, the ones outside the Bay?
As I say, the music was a bit on the loud side, but you get so you set it aside. I mean, what can you do about it? Just crank up the volume on your voice box and cup a hand around an ear.
Not Donna Z.
Waiter stopped with menus and Donna stopped him.
“We’re all old,” Donna said. “Would it be possible to turn the music down a bit?”
Thirty seconds later, the electronic noise didn’t just diminish.
It vanished.
What a great idea!
Try it out: “We’re old — would you please turn down the volume?”
I love it.
You don’t have to be old to use this line, either.
So what if you’re twenty-something? Say you’re tired of the racket in your favorite dive. Call the wait person and tell him or her you’d like the sound turned down.
“We’re all old, don’tcha know?”
Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com
Almost as bad is the waitperson who talks so fast that you can’t understand her (for some reason, it’s usually a ‘her,’ not a him). One day, a young waitress was listing the specials for us, and although I have pretty good hearing, I just couldn’t understand her. After asking her to repeat the list a couple of times, and still not being able to understand her, I finally reached out, took her hand, and said, “Darlin’, we’re older than you are — and we can’t listen as fast as you can talk.”