Scraping ‘hope’ from rubble

By Joel Thurtell

One week after the disaster that left Port-au-Prince and surrounding areas in ruins, the toll on this country has been measured almost entirely in lives. But Haiti’s institutions, weak as they were, have been grievously wounded too. A day immersed in this country’s struggle to recover makes it clear that their absence leaves a palpable void.

New York Times, Page One, January 20, 2010

I’m still puzzling over that line, “A day immersed in this country’s struggle to recover makes it clear that their (Haitis’s institutions’) absence leaves a palpable void.”

I wonder what this means: “A day immersed in this country’s struggle…”

The Times article had a double byline: Ginger Thompson and Deborah Sontag. Did Thompson and Sontag together take part in Haiti’s “struggle to recover”?

Does a single day spent “immersed” in this little country’s “struggle to recover” provide enough insight to draw the sweeping conclusion presented in the article’s headline: “Haiti Takes Tiny Steps on the Long Path Back”?

If the reporters actually took part in some aspect of Haiti’s “tiny steps,” did they forsake their journalistic objectivity?

Readers of JOTR know that I don’t believe there is such a phenomenon as “journalistic objectivity,” but since many working journalists suffer from that delusion, for the sake of this article let’s pretend it exists.

What does it mean for a reporter–no, TWO reporters–to be “immersed” in a “country’s struggle to recover”?

Did the Times reporters work for a day handing out aid to Haitian people? Did their self-proclaimed “immersion” mean they worked alongside Germans (described in their story) trying to bring water to a population whose own water department in the best of times was a sham?

Did the reporters pitch in and help cops (again, described in their story) at a rubble-strewn police station bury their dead and make patrols in their wrecked precinct?

Did they help doctors and nurses (also in the story) conduct operations in a largely-destroyed hospital?

My reading of the article makes me suspect that “immersion” consisted of two reporters showing up at different places to watch and chat with people who were trying to get some real work done. Their so-called “immersion” too get a quickie story was at best a distraction to those were coping with the emergency.

Something tells me their instructions were to fill in the blank spaces in a story whose outline was dreamed up over a cup of Starbucks in Manhattan: Give us a tale we can pop on Page One that says Haiti is making “tiny steps” on its own.

Give us a story that gives our readers hope.

Let’s us feel good.

What arrogance.

What condescension.

To claim that a few hours of kibitzing constitutes “immersion” is breath-taking in its journalistic chutzpah.

Hey, it got them on Page One.

Am I too sensitive?

I never boasted that I was “immersed,” but I can claim to have taken a small part in foreign aid. It was in the early 1970s. I was a Peace Corps volunteer assigned to build U.S. government-financed schools and wells in a small town in northern Togo.

I repeat, I would never claim to have been “immersed” in Togolese society. Yes, I spoke French, the lingua franca of Togo and lived among Togolese, worked with Togolese. But I was, ultimately, an outsider, white person with the ability whenever I liked to withdraw myself from this hot, impoverished land and return to the relative wealth of my previous existence in the U.S. Not what I would call “immersion.”

But in Togo I learned enough about the complexities of delivering aid in a poor country to know that anyone who draws conclusions from a single day spent observing people at work and then claims to have been “immersed” in that activity, in that culture, is spinning bullshit of the first order of magnitude.

I worked far longer in the newspaper industry than I did as a Peace Corps volunteer, yet not long enough to tolerate these pre-fabricated “situation” stories. I did my share of this kind of know-it-all story for my employers at the Detroit Free Press: Tragedy or scandal strikes some small Michigan town and the plot line is just bizarre or terrible enough to rouse the editors of big regional newspapers.

They dispatch a reporter who most likely knows nothing about the targeted town and its inhabitants. The idea is to serve up a story that makes readers think the newspaper knows all about this place, an impression which is a total fraud. While the reporter is chewing the fat with locals in barber shops and coffee houses, some intrepid desk person pulls up the town’s demographics, a graphics person whacks out a locator map, and voila! Sometime that evening, a breezy, vacuous story is on its way to the presses.

Whether it portrays the target community accurately is of no consequence. Whether it makes wrong assumptions about the target population is irrelevant. The key objective is honing a story that will amuse suburban readers over coffee.

Actually, an even more crucial goal of such a story is amusing editors as they chew the fat in their afternoon story meeting. The story would succeed if editors agree it’s a “talker” and a “hoot.”

“Tiny steps” is a curious concept. “Tiny steps” toward what? “On the Long Way Back,” according to the Times head.

Long way back to what?

If we’re to believe the reporting about Haiti, the place was a hellhole before it was hit by an earthquake. Corruption was rampant and infrastructure virtually nonexistent.

Again I ask, “long way back” to what?

More of the same crappy regime where rich people can count on clean water and everyone else gets sick?

Not only is the Times methodology suspect (“immersed in this country’s struggle”), but the idea that this kind of story somehow lights the path back to normalcy is just plain dumb.

When normalcy is hell, the long way back to it is a waste of time, and the tiny steps discerned by those Times reporters in their day-long immersion are an exercise in futility.

It didn’t take me two years in Togo to understand that this little west African country is hugely poor and riddled with graft. While it made me feel good to work on schools and wells, that country needed far more than our piddling foreign aid to provide people the sanitary water supplies and sewers we take for granted.

What they need in countries like Haiti and Togo is a society free of corruption within and equally free of domination by foreigners who stay for a time, give a little help, but never immerse themselves enough to identify with and address the real problems.

Those problems are so fundamental that they escape the ken of most visitors. For instance, those Germans laboring to supply clean water to Haitians. That is a fine goal. But what happens when the Germans go home? Even if they leave their water-purifying equipment to the Haitians, how likely is it that local people will understand how to run the equipment or have money to maintain it?

Not likely.

That is why, in Togo, I insisted on digging a large-bore well rather than drilling the kind of well we know in the U.S.–a pipe run vertically underground to a water-bearing layer of soil, with a pump to draw the water to the surface. Even a simple pump will eventually need repair. Where are the parts going to come from? Who’s going to pay for them? Who’s going to know how to install them? Sounds so simple in our complex American society, problems that could easily be solved with a phone call or a google search. Not so simple in a place where the annual per capita income is under $300.

I preferred a well wide enough for people to drop a bucket and haul the water up with a rope. I was proud of that well. Previously, women and girls carried earthen pots several kilometers to fetch water from a stream, and the well eliminated that  long back-and-forth hike. 

Yes, they had water. Major improvement. But would you or I drink that water? Not without filtering and boiling it. But villagers drink that cloud stuff straight out of the well. So what if the water is open to insects and animals and pollution is its constant condition? When people don’t know better than to drink contaminated water, the problem is not just one of access to resources. It is much more profound, for we’re dealing with basic ignorance of public health essentials.

What kind of government would tolerate contaminated drinking water?

That is the condition those “small steps back” are leading to.

If they’re headed for the old status quo, I don’t seem much cause for hope.

Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com

 

 

 

 


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Sucking up to the TL

Patti by Pat Beck 2008By Peppermint Patti

JOTR Columnist

Sucking up! Sophie, there’s nothing wrong with sucking up. Nothing at all. But you gotta know how to do it.

Sucking up is what saved my butt, believe me, Sophie.

Male two-leggers are a tough crew.

I should know.

I wound up in the pound because of a hard-headed male two-legger.

Can we just call em TLs from now on? You and I know what we mean.

Yeah, Sofie, I wasn’t always a well-loved house dog with a yard of my own. Things like that don’t just happen, as I learned in my first two homes.

Made some mistakes, I did.

Not sucking up was one.

Not sucking up to the male two-legger, you know, the boy TL.

Oh, I was cute, all right. Too cute. 

I thought I could ride cute all the way home from the pet store and then some.

Oh yes, Sophie, I was born with a pedigree. I was not always a faux bichon. My first family had papers that said I was a pure bichon frisse.

But where are those papers now?

I blew it, Sophie. Blew it big time.

Oh, where are those papers?

My new two-leggers call me their “faux bichon,” like I’m a fake.

Once upon a time I could have proved them wrong.

Not now, Sophie. Not now.

I have to grit my canines when they joke about their mutt from the pound.

Mutt from the pound, indeed!

If they only had a lineage as pure as mine.

Right back to the French kings, that’s where my parentage leads.

Or led.

I banked on those papers.

And I banked on cute.

Cute didn’t cut it when I started hitting the garbage can.

The Good Humor Man my first two-legger was not.

Dog, Sophie, you shoulda seen the creation I made. I was so proud. They left me alone with an open kitchen cupboard and a trash can loaded with dead cooked pig, dead cow and rotten fish.

Nirvana!

It was a regular buffet.

First I caught the black bag with my teeth and tipped the can over. There were some old oily paper towels on top that smelled delish, but I set that aside for dessert and got to work on the dead pig bones. As you know, gnashing is best done on a carpet, so I gnawed the first one on the living room rug, a pretty red and black woven thing with flecks of gold and blue. Well, not so much gold and blue after after I scattered those oily towels around, but I think you can conjure the scene, both visually and olfactorily. As I say, it was a real creation.

But the male two-legger did not appreciate my work. He said some unkind things, and you know, a faux bichon is a sensitive breed especially when she’s really a true bichon going back to ancient France, and I took it wrong and next thing you know, kind of depressed, I saw the back yard gate open and took a hike. There was more wonderful chow outside in more cans than you can imagine, so I sniffed and munched along till some male two-legger in a truck lured me over with one of those phony bacon treats I’m such a sucker for and next thing I knew, I was behind bars.

Oh, if I had only sucked up to that male two-legger, Sophie. But that is history, and as you know, what is past is past.

Besides, hey! Did you see that? A swoop-bird just nailed a flyer. See that? What nerve! My yard! This cannot stand! Stand by, Sophie, don’t go away.

Sneeze. Sophie, that was the best dove I’ve had. Too bad about that fence, or I’d share. What a pushover that swooper was. I barked, “Hit the air waves and don’t come back, Jack!” and he was aloft in a heartbeat.

Tasty, tasty bird, the dove.

Where was I? Oh yes, if I’d played my cards right and sucked up more on that first gig, I’d of kept my kennel papers and my rank.

But you know, being a faux bichon ain’t all bad. I still hit the garbage cans, but I’m more discreet.

And I sit in the lap and lick the hand of my new two-leggers. 

Sucking up pays off, Sophie.

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Why not me?

By Joel Thurtell

I just don’t get it.

The geniuses who run the New York Times op-ed page.

Why don’t they pick me?

I don’t have any lucrative government contracts.

Why, I don’t have any kind of government contract.

I don’t own or partly own any oil companies in former Soviet republics.

So why won’t they publish my op-ed pieces?

I’m referring to recent demi-scandals involving lapses in Times efforts to make sure that self-aggrandizing doesn’t sneak into the newspaper’s august pages.

Boom-boom. It happened twice in recent weeks, and each time the Times got caught.

Egg on their face.

Embarrassing public apologies.

Could have been avoided.

How?

Why, they could have used my essays.

As I say, I am not well-connected to former Soviet republic oil companies, and I don’t have a $400,000 contract with the federal government to analyze anything.

But instead of hiring me to write their little op-ed pieces, the Times went for broke.

They used the work of a guy named Jonathan Gruber. He’s a health care economist at MIT. Now, there is prestige for you: MIT.

The Times published his op-ed column about health care reform. Later, the editors learned that Gruber has a $400,000 contract to analyze health care reform for the Obama administration.

Oops.

Could have avoided that nastiness if they’d used my piece.

Of course, I don’t have MIT emblazoned on my letterhead.

Wonder if that made the difference.

Then there was the even more embarrassing gaffe the Times made by publishing a piece by Peter Galbraith, son of famed economist John Kenneth Galbraith, advocating independence for Kurdistan. Too late, the Times found out that Galbraith the Younger stands to make millions from his investment in a Kurdistan oil company.

Darn! Fooled again!

Now there’s all kinds of hand-wringing at the Times and mea culpas flying through the editorial pages as the newspaper tries to figure out how to keep making fools of themselves.

I could have told them: Use my stuff.

Over the years, I guess  I’ve sent more than a dozen of my essays to the Times. Never had a response.

A friend works in PR at a prestigious state university here in Michigan. He tells me one of his more onerous assignments is hawking proposed op-ed pieces written by professors. It goes without saying that the profs, being profs, are too busy to do their own shilling. Busy men and women of consequence. Because the profs can’t be bothered, my friend cultivates editors at various newspapers and when the need to vend an op-ed piece comes along, he makes calls to those people and paves the way to publication. Shh! He even re-writes the profs’ work! One of the offices he targets is none other than the op-ed shop at the New York Times.

I don’t know if any of my friend’s professor-clients have outside contracts that might be a conflict of interest according to the Times’ ethical guidelines. Somehow, I doubt that those academic essay-writers are being vetted at the level required by the Times. But when newspapers accept pieces that are promoted by third-parties, in effect using agents to bring work to their attention, they are begging for trouble.

Ever notice how many Times op-ed pieces are written by people with a published book to peddle? How does that happen? I can’t prove it, but I suspect the work of literary agents in at least some of those cases. Not the author, but the paid agent makes the arrangement to publish the piece.

In such cases, the incentive system is aimed the opposite way from what the Times wants. Agents want results. In the case of literary agents, they get a cut of the fee. In the case of the university PR official, performance evaluations may well include rate of success at placing clients’ essays. Motivation is tilted towards nondisclosure of compromising facts like $400,000 consulting contracts or investments in oil companies whose fate is tied to the subject of the op-ed column.

On the other hand, I understand the dilemma of the op-editors: Which is easier, accepting a piece of writing that’s glad-handed through the door by someone they at least know as a chummy voice over the phone, or diligently sifting through hundreds of “unsolicited” essays from nobodies like me who addressed their work to oped@nytimes.com?

Truth is, writings sent by outsiders like me are no more “unsolicited” than those pitched by agents. Anyone who tries to sell a story is, by definition, soliciting.

Last week I thought I’d try once more. I e-mailed my essay, “Right to Offend,” to the Times. I thought it was almost as well-written as your run-of-the-mill Times op-ed piece, and it has the national and even international appeal preferred by the Times.

Nothing back.

Then on Sunday, January 17, 2010, I read Times public editor Clark Hoyt’s flagellation of the Times op-editors in the Galbraith and Gruber cases.

After all that humiliation, they’ve learned nothing.

They had an untainted piece–mine–to publish, and chose to ignore it.

I do not feel sorry for them.

Stay tuned, Mr. Hoyt–I have a feeling you’ll be soliciting more mea culpas.

Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com

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Right to offend

 By Joel Thurtell

When authors and cartoonists have to hide to protect themselves from threats of murder and mayhem from Muslim radicals, it seems like the biggest threat to free speech comes from Islam.

But the real menace to our freedom of expression comes from the West itself.

The West is at war within over whether people should be allowed to speak their minds in public or have their dissident views suppressed because they may “offend” or “insult” some members of society.

This point clarified for me when I read a pair of stories on the same (paper) page of the January 12, 2010 New York Times.

First, we learned that the Brits are so peeved at critics of the West’s war in Afghanistan that an English court convicted five Muslims who had shouted critical comments at British soldiers returning from military service in Afghanistan. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/12/world/europe/12britain.html We also learned that Danish authorities have labeled as a terrorist the Muslim man who tried to kill an artist whose cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad insulted many Muslims to the point of riot and murder. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/12/world/europe/12briefs-Denmark.html

It seems the Muslims in England were convicted for hurting people’s feelings. What did the “offending” Muslims shout in the streets of a suburb north of London? For calling the soldiers “murderers” and “rapists” and “baby killers,” the Muslims were convicted of “harassment and using insulting language.”

They didn’t attack anybody physically, although some Brits, angered by the Muslims, had to be restrained by police from harming the protesters.

“Murderers.”

“Rapists.”

“Baby killers.”

That’s about as wild and offensive as the comments of many American opponents of the Vietnam War back in the 1960s. The “murderers” and “baby killers” remarks remind me of insults that are commonplace at anti-abortion protests today in the United States.

In the winter of 1967 I lived in London. I recall reading irreverent comments in English newspapers and hearing soap-box tirades from speakers at Hyde Corner. Why, members of Parliament would make remarks that were very insulting. Yet nobody charged them with a crime.

Have Britons become more sensitive?

Or are they selectively less tolerant to insults from Islamic speakers?

Now, at the same time we’re learning that the Muslims were convicted of being less than polite in England, we’re reminded that police in Denmark are protecting the cartoonist whose newspaper cartoon images of the Prophet Muhammad—one with a bomb-shaped turban–insulted some Muslims to the point of riot.

Muslims have issued fatwahs, or edicts, calling for believers to murder cartoonist Kurt Westergaard. The Muslim fanatic who recently tried to kill Westergaard in his home has been charged—correctly, I believe–with terrorism.

Most Westerners would say that Westergaard had a right to draw his images of Muhammad, and that newspapers have a fundamental right to publish the cartoons without fear of coming under physical attack.

But if we believe in an artist’s right to offend Muslims, how can we convict Muslims for offending us?

Don’t the Muslim critics—in Western society, at least– have rights as fundamental as those of Westergaard?

Are not the British—and Americans if we condone the Brits’ censurious behavior–succumbing to the same penchant for suppression that drives the Muslim fatwa-hurlers?

If we in the West continue suppressing Muslims—or anybody—for expressing their beliefs in a peaceful way, we are only admitting that we too can’t tolerate the kind of dialogue that should exist in an open and free society.

By suppressing peaceful commentary, we encourage those we censor to seek more violent forms of expression.

We who believe in an open, free society need to think carefully about the contradictions we telegraph to the world by defending cartoons that were offensive to Muslims, while convicting Muslims for merely expressing views that offend some Westerners.

Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com

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Metro Times reviews ‘Up the Rouge!’

Somehow, we missed a very kind notice of Up the Rouge! Paddling Detroit’s Hidden River in Detroit’s Metro Times newspaper. The review of our book was the lead section of a roundup story by Michael Jackman in the November 25, 2009 issue of Metro Times.

Here’s what Jackman wrote about Up the Rouge!:

“For a city that’s shrinking, Detroit sure gets a lot of play on the bookshelves. From appealing photographic books to auto histories to poetry anthologies, there’s plenty of paper to stuff a stocking with this year.

 

“Take Up the Rouge! (Wayne State, $34.95), for instance. Former Freep journo and active Detroit blogger Joel Thurtell tells of his 2005 canoe journey up the Rouge River. What at first appears to be a stunt quickly develops into an investigation of how the river’s environmental quality is ignored. As he makes his way up the trash-strewn, polluted waterway, scrambling over logjams and avoiding bacterial infections, Thurtell (and photographer Patricia Beck) force us to bear witness to how, unlike our other recreational rivers, we’ve been content to turn this one into a sewer. The resulting story is unusual, insightful and surprisingly engaging.”

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The Ambassador and the Freepsters

A consortium of the U.S. and Canada, Ontario and Michigan, and Detroit and Windsor finally make Matty Moroun an offer he just can’t refuse for the Ambassador Bridge, which then becomes an international government operation; traffic backups increase exponentially.

         –Ron Dzwonkowski, Detroit Free Press, Sunday, January 3, 2010

By Joel Thurtell

Ron Dzwonkowski is taking hits on the Internet for that one-sentence remark, including a negative comment posted here on JOTR.

Like many, I’ve been trying to ponder my way to the  bottom of that–perhaps–offhand comment by one of the best journalists at the Detroit Free Press.

I’m referring to a New Year’s roundup of whimsical or tongue-in-cheek predictions by Dzwonkowski, a former topnotch Free Press City Desk and Projects editor. For some time also, he was editor of the Free Press editorial page, and now he’s a columnist.

But for my money, Ron was at his best in the ’80s and early ’90s as an editor of reporters researching hard-to-get stories about difficult topics.

For instance, in the 1980s, after an Ann Arbor teen accidentally shot to death a buddy while playing with a pistol, Ron suggested I trace that pistol from its initial sale to the point where it wound up in the hands of two kids. Tracing the gun’s history was not easy, but step by step I was able to find the transactions that moved that handgun across the country and into the bedroom dresser of a Kalamazoo cop, from whom the pistol was stolen. End of the trail, seemingly, until it surfaced in a home, discharged a bullet and killed a boy.

As one of the foot soldiers who campaigned under General Ron in the good old days when Detroit had two independently-owned daily newspapers, I was in awe of an editor who could project himself to the sometimes far-flung scenes where reporters were working and instantly grasp the challenges they faced. That quality was rare then, and may not exist now.

I could go on about his ability to abstractly envision the far reaches of a complex story and grasp its importance. I doubt there was another editor at the Free Press then who could have stayed awake while a reporter (me) outlined an arcane form of municipal bond that he insisted was going to break the financial back of Michigan schools, creating an immense bow wave of debt, if it were not exposed and–hopefully–stopped. There was no single smoking gun, no salacious text messages to mesmerize reporters and readers and catapult the story into tabloid infamy.

Ron listened to my explanation of how a cabal of financial advisers, bond attorneys and bond underwriters was steering schools toward financial ruin. Then he assigned me to do something I never imagined the Free Press would allow: Pay my salary to drive daily to Lansing, where I studied Michigan Treasury files on every school district that issued capital appreciation bonds, aka zero coupons, the “creative” financing scheme that was bloating the debt of nearly 100 Michigan school districts.

What Ron wanted was a “big graphic” listing every district that issued CABS, together with the amount of principal and the amount of interest. That way, no matter where a reader lived, he or she could determine if the local school had imbibed the liquor of debt and peg responsibility on their school board.

No school district was too small to hide from the Big Graphic. After two months commuting to Lansing and reading those files, I had a comprehensive knowledge of just how devastating CABs were. Another editor might have cut me off. Ron insisted on the Big Graphic, and together with the stories surrounding it, our CAB project won the 2004 Michigan Education Association School Bell Award and, more importantly, inspired the state Legislature to ban CABs for schools and to require that bonds be competitively bid.

I was reluctant to write about Ron’s comment on Matty Moroun and the Ambassador bridge because, though I haven’t seen him since I retired from the Detroit Free Press two years ago, I have tremendous respect for him both as a human being and as a journalist.

But his reference to Moroun seems weird to me, since Free Press coverage of Moroun and his shenanigans has been light at best.  Why be a wiseacre on a topic your paper pretends is a minor issue? So I keep asking myself, why did Ron write this line in his New Year collection of whimsical predictions?

A consortium of the U.S. and Canada, Ontario and Michigan, and Detroit and Windsor finally make Matty Moroun an offer he just can’t refuse for the Ambassador Bridge, which then becomes an international government operation; traffic backups increase exponentially.

First thing to remember is that Ron has not directed projects in a number of years. He’s now a columnist.

But there’s no reason why a columnist can’t break news ahead of his or her reporter colleagues.

No reason too why a columnist could not, if he or she desired, undertake special investigative projects.

Well, in theory.

I suspect that at its current downsized capacity, the Free Press would not condone one of its columnists spending weeks delving into documents for one set of columns, no matter how earth-shattering or even Pulitzer-inspiring.

There’s a saying in newspapers, “Feed the beast,” and it is true that the monster must be stoked minute-by-minute in this Internet age.

One of the things his critics wouldn’t know is that Ron is an incredible wit, a joker whose audacious and sometimes off-color remarks can spark raucous guffaws in the newsroom. I remember listening to Ron reeling off one-liners in series, one hilarious wisecrack after another that had everyone in earshot laughing uproariously.

Ron is a very funny guy.

Okay, so what’s with the Matty Moroun remark?

Was this just one of Ron’s gags, thrown off in a hurry to meet deadline?

Quite possible, I think.

So, should we then simply put it down as a jest laced into a column listing highly unlikely events?

Well, not so fast.

While I suspect the Moroun comment was indeed meant as a joke, in order to understand its full meaning, we have to reflect on its source, which is a newspaper that moved heaven and earth to put the former Detroit mayor in jail, in part because the paper as a collective journalistic enterprise was pretty sure that convicting and deposing Kwame Kilpatrick would sway the Pulitzer judges. And the Free Press, having come up empty on reporting Pulitzers since 1967, was anxious to garner one. They were correct, too, about the Kwame story. Or half-correct, since they shared the Pulitzer with another paper.

Newsroom culture and newsroom mentality are very important. I had my suspicions about the Free Press’s motives and their hyperdrive pursuit of Kwame Kilpatrick, and they were confirmed when a Free Press reporter told me while the Pulitzer judges were deliberating that “we deserve a Pulitzer–we put a mayor in jail!”

They spent a lot of ink and a lot of money in litigation to oust a corrupt and disgusting political figure. Despite their self-aggrandizing motives, this wound up being a very good thing for Detroit.

But can you imagine a Freep columnist making smart-ass, satirical remarks about the paper’s persistent pillorying of Kwame? Can you imagine a Free Press columnist tossing cold rhetorical water on the Kwame story? Even newsroom wags would, I suspect, hold their tongues when it comes to contrary jokes about the paper’s Kilpatrick coverage.

Not that newspapers don’t have their counter-cultures. But in newspapers, counter-cultures tend not to thrive in the open.

I wouldn’t expect to hear any wisecracks about Kwame coverage in the Free Press newsroom.

Ron’s witticism about Moroun is interesting as a window into Free Press mentality. Ron may not be pope at the Free Press, but he was an editor for years and still is a member of the curia. Might we infer that his offhand witticism about Moroun reflects a certain snide attitude about the journalistic worthiness of reporting about Matty?

If, as I suspect, snide remarks about Kwame are verboten, why is it okay to print a one-paragraph gag about a story the Free Press refuses to cover in any depth?

Several reasons come to mind.

One, the remark could be interpreted as pandering to the billionaire owner of the Ambassador Bridge.

Sucking up to the powerful certainly would not be news in the news business. Engraved on the building where these newspeople work is a motto that says they should afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted, but it’s high above the street and not easy to read. Far easier to bow down to the high and mighty.

But that is just speculation. I don’t have evidence of collusion between Freepsters and Matty.

There is another possibility: Spite.

What if a goodly chunk of the story had been reported by a onetime Freepster whose blog has criticized his former employers for what he perceives as journalistic lapses? Writing about Matty in an aggressive way in the Free Press might signal that the former reporter was correct in his news judgment, and that might just be more of an admission than Free Press bosses could swallow.

Again, I have no way of knowing whether this is correct. Newspapers, like the Vatican, can be inscrutable, and like the papacy, they like to think they’re infallible.

Yet it’s tempting to follow another and similar line of thought. Let’s not forget the context of the remark: It was made by a writer for a newspaper that has been repeatedly beaten on coverage of a wealthy trucking magnate who also happens to own other pieces of Detroit property which have made the news because he refuses to spend the money required to keep his structures intact and safe. The Michigan Central railroad station is only one example. Or the dead body found in a nearby Moroun-owned building that was all too accessible to the public.

In other cities, owners of abandoned buildings are taken to court, even prosecuted. Why does that not happen in Detroit with Matty Moroun?

Would that not be a good topic for a newspaper on the hunt for Pulitzers?

Might that not be a good topic for a columnist wanting to be taken seriously as a journalist?

Or maybe even for the paper’s team of investigative reporters?

It happens that the city did sue Matty to evict him from Riverside Park, where he’d been squatting for years and hoped to take over the public land for the base of a new international bridge. This story, which I happen to think is important, has been covered by the Metro Times, the University of Michigan radio station, a public Toledo television station, once in a while The Detroit News and by JOTR. If you read only the Free Press, you’d think the struggle for possession of that city park was a figment of our imaginations.

While it was buying out, then firing, scores of editorial employees, the Detroit Free Press was also spending huge amounts of money to topple a mayor. While I hope it would not cause the layoff of more Freepsters, why couldn’t the paper spend some staff time to investigate Matty Moroun and his privately-owned bridge between the U.S. and Canada? Why not investigate Moroun’s harassment of a neighboring bait shop or his incessant lawsuits against the state aimed, apparently, at stopping construction of a rival government-owned international bridge?

Here is how Wikipedia describes the Ambassador Bridge:

A 2004 Border Transportation Partnership study showed that 150,000 jobs in the region and US $13 billion in annual production depend on the Windsor-Detroit international border crossing. It is the busiest international border crossing in North America in terms of trade volume: more than 25 percent of all merchandise trade between the United States and Canada crosses the bridge.

The bridge is a BIG story.

Is it too big, too complex, for Free Press brains to grasp?

Is it because the chances of putting Matty in jail are close to nil and therefore a Pulitzer would not be a slam-dunk?

Or does the paper just want to sit back on its demi-Pulitzer laurels and pretend it’s not being beaten by the Windsor Star, Metro Times, and even occasionally by an obscure blog, on a story any self-respecting newspaper would want to own?

If Ron’s comment is the best journalism the Free Press can produce on a story that affects all Michiganders more profoundly than a corrupt mayor in Detroit, then I begin to understand why those Pulitzer judges opted to give the Freep half a loaf.

Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com

Posted in Joel's J School, Me & Matty | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

‘Inverse truth’ and the Times

By Luke Warm

Professor of Mendacity, University of Munchausen

First of all, I would like to remind all students enrolled in this class–Mendacity 101–that our primary purpose is to find subtle, even invisible and certainly inaudible, ways of misleading the public through the good graces of journalism.

For quite some time, I’ve been wanting to talk about a nifty way of distorting reality. I call it “inverse numeration,” though others have dubbed it, less decorously, “pulling the bull” and even “straight-out lying.”

The concept of “inverse numeration,” also known as “lying with numbers,” is well known in the world of public relations. It is not taught in our journalism schools because to many J school profs, the tactic simply stinks to high heaven.

To which proscription I respond that things only stink if they are smelled.

The object in this class is to make our debasement of truth so subtle that it cannot be noticed.

It’s a somewhat abstract concept, this idea of “inverse truth,” and I despaired of finding a means of conveying it to students succinctly and precisely.

And then The New York Times obliged me in its edition of January 7, 2010. Right smack-dab on Page One in the upper right corner of my paper edition of the Times, the boldface headline blazes,PARTY IS SHAKEN AS 2 DEMOCRATS CHOOSE TO QUIT.”

To sink the hook further, a second boldface head states, “SENATE IN THE BALANCE.”

A deck head grinds the point home: “Pressure on Obama Agenda From G.O.P and the Economy.”

Note the artful way copy editors have enticed us into this story by presenting as “fact” that the Democratic Party is “shaken” by the news that two veteran senators are stepping down. To Democrats reading this headline, that must indeed be frightening news.

And my God! The Senate is “In the balance”!

What is a good Democrat to do?

Woe are they!

This concept, though false, has been slipped into the consciousness of thousands of Times readers who never read past the stack of headlines.

As a connoisseur of mendacity, I declare this a masterful job. Much of the work is done before we even get to  the story.

Now, before starting to read the story from the top, allow me to direct your attention to the story’s end. Please read the third-from-the-last paragraph. This is the secret divulged, the key to undertstanding how this masterpiece of mendacity was pulled off using the technique I call “inverse numeracy.”

Here is what it says:

Despite the focus on the Democrats’ problems, Republicans are faring worse this year in terms of resignations putting seats in play.

An alert reader at this point deep into the story’s jump on Page 20 might wonder, Why all the hoopla about the Democrats’ woes on Page One, if the Republicans are in worse shape?

Excellent question. First let me respond that in this course, Mendacity 101, we make a rule not to delve into the motives of writers who pander lies to the public. This is not a class in morals. Technique is what we are after, a dissection of the handiwork of deception, and this example is a classic of the type no matter what its authors’ motives might have been.

Having issued my standard disclaimer, I might suggest–MIGHT, I said–that the Times authors and no doubt the editors who drive them, were looking for a way to juice the story or, putting it politely, “enhance the reader value” to make it worthy of Page One treatment. Now in the past year, there have been plenty of headlines about the opposition party’s woes. So many stories, in fact, that one more story about troubled Republicans would be a crushing bore. But if we could stand the story on its head, twist the “facts” one-hundred-eighty degrees, by gum, we’d have something worthy of Page One that would cast the Democrats–the dominant party–as underdogs.

Who cares if it’s true or not? Page One is our God!

Maybe that series of “thoughts”  flashed through the Timesmens’ minds. I don’t know or care.

For pure unabashed mendacity, this story is a shining example.

For here, deep in the story, second line in the third-from-last paragraph, we get the damning math:

In the House, 14 Republicans and 10 Democrats are retiring, and Representative Robert Wexler, Democrat of Florida, is retiring, leaving one vacancy.

Do the math, please: Fourteen Republicans and 11 Democrats. Just to review the basics, an exercise they apparently don’t conduct at the Times, fourteen is a greater denomination than eleven. Thus the peril for Republicans in the House of Representatives is actually greater than the danger to Democrats.

Does this news seem to belie the threatening tone of the Page One headline: “PARTY IS SHAKEN AS 2 DEMOCRATS CHOOSE TO QUIT“?

By now, a suspicious reader might wonder if those people who plunked down two bucks for the paper aren’t being had. And, of course, they ARE being duped, in a most glorious and artistic manner!

But there is more beauty to this painting. Please read the third line in the third-from-last paragraph:

In the Senate, six Republicans, including several in swing states requiring expensive campaigns, and four Democrats, including Mr. Dodd and Mr. Dorgan, are retiring.

Once again, and I don’t mean to insult your intelligence, but when such an august publication as The New York Times has trouble making judgments based on simple arithmetic, I feel the need to caution students not to fall into the same pit of bad counting.

So please repeat with me, “Six is bigger than four.”

Six Republicans are in trouble, and of the four Democrats, the loss of Sen. Christopher Dodd seems actually to have strengthened that party’s chances, because the new candidate is perceived as more popular and thus stands a better chance than Dodd of being elected.

That being the case, then the numbers are double against the Republicans, six to three.

“PARTY IS SHAKEN” would thus seem to apply more aptly to the Republicans.

Now do you see what I meant by “inverse truth” and “inverse numeration”?

In this article, figures, that is ,the perception of figures, which are widely perceived as unable to lie, have been nimbly inverted to literally reverse the meaning of the actual numbers.

Moreover, and this is important to the credibility game newspapers like to play with their readers, if a critic called attention to this massive deception, the authors and those puppet-masters known euphemistically as “editors” can always respond that the real numbers are in the story, albeit buried in the third-from-last paragraph.

Look now at the very top of the story, the lede sentence:

WASHINGTON — The sudden decision by two senior Democratic senators to retire shook the party’s leaders on Wednesday and signaled that President Obama is facing a perilous political environment that could hold major implications for this year’s midterm elections and hi sown agenda.

Knowing what we now do, having analyzed the newspaper’s own numbers using our knowledge of simple arithmetic, we can see that this line is complete hokum. Republicans’ political environment is far more “perilous” that the Democrats, but for some reason the Times prefers to cast the Dems in the underdog role.

The second paragraph of this Times story also collapses from the weight of numerical fraud unmasked:

The rapidly shifting climate, less than a year after Mr. Obama took office on the stength of a historic Democratic sweep, was brought into focus by the announcements that Senators Christopher J. Dodd of Connecticut and Byron L. Dorgan of North Dakaota would retire rather than wage uphill fights for re-election.

“Rapidly shifting climate”? Such hyperbole would disintegrate if juxtapposed directly with the numbers the authors chose to expose only in their third-from last paragraph.

The “climate” for Republicans in the Senate would, by the third-from-last paragraph numbers, appear twice as grim as the weather experienced by Democrats.

What class! What mental dexterity!

It certainly doesn’t take higher math or a sophisticated computer program to lay bare this textbook example of journalistic mendacity.

Posted in Joel's J School | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Bush-butts and two-leggers

Patti by Pat Beck 2008By Peppermint Patti

JOTR Columnist

Don’t tell me about it, Sophie. I’ve got a pair of them myself, I know precisely how they are.

They’re what you call youmens.

What THEY call youmens.

I call em two-leggers.

Short for two-legged walkers.

A strike against them already.

I mean, how do they balance on just two pegs?

Four-legging’s the only way: Faster, closer to the ground, safer.

Know what I mean, Sophie?

They say they came from apes, and it sure does show.

Dog, I tell you, breaking in a new two-legger is no picnic, as you know very well.

Story of my life.

Maybe yours are smarter than mine, I don’t know.

Don’t get a brain till they’re twenty-two.

Wait! Wait! Hold that thought, Sophie!

Hear em?

Bush-butts!

Dog!

Stay where you are, Sophie, this is my side. That fence’ll be the death of you.

Just wait, I’ll be back.

Okay, sneeze, whew, here I am. Arrogant buggers, those bush-tushies, don’t know their proper place, which is up a tree, any tree, and stay there.

Sent em packin.

Hear em yellin?

Wait, gotta sniff that bird feeder.

Just as I thought, old flare-tail’s been at it.

Thinks it’s a joke.

Next time, I’ll nab one.

Almost had one, once, sunk my teeth into its butt plume.

Can you believe the nerve? It turned and showed me its teeth.

Bravery in a rodent is just plain dumb.

Hate to think what I’d of done if my female two-legger hadn’t bounded up with a piece of fake bacon.

Lost my concentration.

I know, you’re a biggie, what the two-leggers call a Labado Retreater. 

Me, I’m a faux bichon, white fluff-ball straight from the pound.

Wait a minute. You see that? What’s the male two-legger doing out here? Doesn’t he know this yard is mine?

Come on! Inside!

Makes me sneeze.

Now I gotta go sniff where he was, make sure he didn’t foul my scent.

Guess I better pee on a couple places.

Gotta reinforce my authority.

You know, I keep the place safe for two-leggers.

Oh no! He’s headed for the woodpile. Doesn’t he know? Danger! I chased a raccoon in there. It’s biding its time, but the male two-legger is gonna buy trouble, just watch.

Cracks me up, Sophie. Both my two-leggers really adore me. Kids love me. Everybody thinks I’m so kind, and I am. I am!

But dog, I’d sure love to nail one of those bushie-assed tree moles.

Bagged a mouse once, but before I could swallow, they scooped it up.

Flushed it down the well they pee in.

Can you believe that? A mouse down a pee well?

I’ll never drink from that one again.

What’d you say? How many times I been to the vet?

Who cares?

Where’d you hear that?

You READ about it?

Come on, Sophie, don’t put me on, I’m not fresh out of the kennel.

Okay, whatever it takes.

Right, it was brown, hard and sweet. Chawgolad. Or something.

Dog, I’d give a bag of bacon treats to know where they hid the sweets.

Answer what question?

Emergully woom?

I’m not being coy.

Okay, let’s just say that doc’s got my number.

Want me to bark the count? Okay, watch my tail, count the wags.

 I know what the two-leggers say. I’m a VERY expensive dog, getting more so.

The more they pay, the more they love me. Go figure.

Gotta scoot, Sophie–raccoon up a tree!

Posted in Peppermint Patti | Tagged | 1 Comment

Here’s Patti!

Headline: CALLING THE ER VETS
Sub-Head: PEPPERMINT PATTI IS A 14-POUND BALL OF FLUFF WITH AN APPETITE – FOR TROUBLE
Byline: JOEL THURTELL
Pub-Date: 12/10/2006
Memo: PLYMOUTH CANTON NORTHVILLE
Correction:
Text: She’s our $1,000 dog.
Peppermint Patti was a gift from my mother-in-law, who couldn’t handle this 14-pound ball of fluff the Humane Society told her was a bichon frise.
A 200-pound mastiff would be easier to deal with. Patti likes to eat. She will eat anything. She snatches trash from wastebaskets. Food off the table. Eyeglasses from a desk.
She once devoured a batch of cookies. Yanked them off the dining room table. Ate cookies, plastic bag and all.
But that’s not why we call her our $1,000 dog.
One day, my wife, Karen, noticed a cardboard tray of rat poison in a basement room. The d-Con had been hidden under a dresser for months. Patti somehow discovered it, dragged it out and ate it. We’d forgotten about it. Toby, our elderly terrier mix, never bothered it. But now the box was empty.
Then I noticed something. On the back lawn. Dog poop. Brown on one end, iridescent green on the other.
Empty d-Con dispenser and the green poop? She must have eaten poison. I took Patti to our veterinarian.
“Did you see her eat d-Con?” the vet asked me.
No.
“She’s not bleeding anywhere, and that would be a sign she’d eaten d-Con,” the vet said. He sent us home.
Rat poison contains a substance called warfarin that decreases blood clotting. It is used in humans as a blood thinner. Warfarin poisons animals by stopping the normal clotting that heals wounds. They bleed internally. That’s what the vet was looking for – unusual or excessive bleeding.
Patti did indeed seem fine, though. She’s a funny, hyper little thing, romping around the house and yard. Her constant antics are a delight. A tiny thing growling fiercely. She makes you laugh.
We laughed about our d-Con-proof dog. But no matter what the vet said, we were convinced she’d eaten the poison. “Didn’t faze our d-Con dog,” we chuckled.
A week or so later, Patti stopped romping. We weren’t laughing then. She wheezed. She coughed. She had trouble breathing. She was in trouble – d-Con.
We recalled a sign in Plymouth: Veterinary Emergency Service.
We called. Bring her in, we were told. Now.
Dr. John Krieger is an emergency vet. He’s 29, lives in Brighton, got his doctor of veterinary medicine degree from Michigan State University in 2002.
He saved Peppermint Patti.
First, he looked Patti over. She had swelling under her chin from a needle puncture from doc No. 1. It keeps getting bigger, he told us. The warfarin wouldn’t allow the blood from the wound to clot, so it pooled in a bruise, and the swelling was making it hard for Patti to breathe. Plus, her red blood cell count was dropping.
He gave her a plasma transfusion and vitamin K.
Patti spent the night in a dog hospital. We picked her up the next day, paid the $800-plus bill and figured that with the first vet visit and follow-ups, she’d cost us close to a grand.
$1,000 dog.
Though tired, she was her old frolicking self when she returned home. Still pulling things out of wastebaskets, off tables – she ruined two pairs of my glasses – and being a general nuisance. Cute and a pain in the butt.
When we leave home now, we lock or block cupboard doors and sequester Patti in the kitchen. A couple of weeks ago, I came home and learned from Karen that I’d forgotten to lock Patti up when I left that morning.
On one of our bedroom floors was part of a wrapper from a 750-gram slab of European dark chocolate. Maybe 150 grams remained.
Did you know that chocolate can be lethal to dogs? It’s true.
I was skeptical that she’d actually eaten chocolate.
But back to the doggie ER we went. Dr. Krieger forced Patti to vomit. Up came proof of what she’d done – chocolate and wrapping paper.
Chocolate contains theobromine, a chemical that is toxic to dogs, said Dr. Anna Arthmire, a veterinarian and co-owner of Veterinary Emergency Service.
“Dogs will eat anything,” said Arthmire, 47.
She lives in Huntington Woods with her husband, Marty Mlynarek, 48, also a vet. They also run an emergency animal hospital in Madison Heights.
Vets are seeing more and more cases of pets getting sick from rat poison, Arthmire said. An explosion of the rat population in eastern Wayne County has prompted people to liberally set out d-Con in homes and yards, and pets as well as rats will consume the poison, she said.
D-Con symptoms don’t show up for a long time, but usually pet owners see their dogs eat rat poison and bring them to a vet right away. Those cases don’t become as dire as Patti’s. Also, in cases of chocolate poisoning, pet owners usually notice the missing chocolate and quickly figure out what happened, as Karen did.
“In 20 years, we’ve only lost one patient to chocolate toxicity, and that was because it had just gone too long,” Arthmire said.
Not only do dogs eat anything, but they don’t learn what’s bad for them. Patti has a taste for chocolate now. She watches candy with the eye of a connoisseur.
In the chocolate episode, Patti again spent the night in the hospital. We paid the bill and took home a very tired dog.
A $1,500 dog.
Contact JOEL THURTELL at 248-351-3296 or thurtell@freepress.com.
Caption: Thurtell family photo
Peppermint Patti has been a lucky dog – so far.
MADALYN RUGGIERO / Special to the Free Press
Veterinary assistant Sharon Perkins, 43, of Plymouth holds Bixby while veterinary technician Joan Hawkins, 59, left, of Detroit examines him at Veterinary Emergency Service on Ann Arbor Road in Plymouth. Bixby’s owners are Kathy Peltier and her husband, Rick Ambrose, of Northville.
Vet assistant Perkins holds Bixby as blood is drawn. The dog was battling hemorrhagic gastroenteritis, which can be fatal if not treated.
Photos by MADALYN RUGGIERO / Special to the Free Press
Veterinarian Ellen LaFramboise, 32, of Livonia looks through some records at Veterinary Emergency Service in Plymouth. The clinic is open around the clock to treat ill and injured animals like Bixby and Patti. Veterinary assistant Joan Hawkins is in the background.
Illustration: PHOTO
Edition: METRO FINAL
Section: CFP; COMMUNITY FREE PRESS
Page: 1CN
Keywords: dogs
Disclaimer: THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION MAY DIFFER SLIGHTLY FROM THE PRINTED ARTICLE
 

Peppermint Patti

Peppermint Patti

By Joel Thurtell

Over the holidays, I found it hard to concentrate on blogging. In fact, I did precious little writing of any kind. Once again, I was brought face to face with the downside of running a one-man writing show: If I don’t write it, it won’t get written. True, occasionally I’ve had the good fortune to have renowned writers like Luke Warm and Ned Yardline pinch hit for me. But it’s always been on THEIR terms, work written when Luke or Ned feels compelled to unload verbiage on some personal fetish such as journalistic deceit or lame athletics. Meantime, I’ve had to discipline Pete Pizzicato, my music critic, and I just don’t expect much from the food writer, Melanie Munch.

So I cast my eye around the house and suddenly found the solution lying asleep under the Christmas tree. It was Peppermint Patti, the family dog who, believe it or not, actually talks to me. Not in English, but in small barks and chirps and sneezes and huffs that signal me her immediate wants, which must be attended to forthwith.
If Patti can talk, why couldn’t she write? Would she be willing to write for my blog? And not join The Bloggers’ Guild?
Negotiations are ongoing, and they include plenty of fake bacon treats, believe me.
I’m so hopeful that Patti will add her byline to my roster of esteemed writers that I’d like to introduce her by way of an article I wrote about her. Patti’s story was first published in the Detroit Free Press on December 10, 2006. I’m running it with permission of the Detroit Free Press.
CALLING THE ER VETS
PEPPERMINT PATTI IS A 14-POUND BALL OF FLUFF WITH AN APPETITE – FOR TROUBLE
Byline: JOEL THURTELL
She’s our $1,000 dog.
Peppermint Patti was a gift from my mother-in-law, who couldn’t handle this 14-pound ball of fluff the Humane Society told her was a bichon frise.
A 200-pound mastiff would be easier to deal with. Patti likes to eat. She will eat anything. She snatches trash from wastebaskets. Food off the table. Eyeglasses from a desk.
She once devoured a batch of cookies. Yanked them off the dining room table. Ate cookies, plastic bag and all.
But that’s not why we call her our $1,000 dog.
One day, my wife, Karen, noticed a cardboard tray of rat poison in a basement room. The d-Con had been hidden under a dresser for months. Patti somehow discovered it, dragged it out and ate it. We’d forgotten about it. Toby, our elderly terrier mix, never bothered it. But now the box was empty.
Then I noticed something. On the back lawn. Dog poop. Brown on one end, iridescent green on the other.
Empty d-Con dispenser and the green poop? She must have eaten poison. I took Patti to our veterinarian.
“Did you see her eat d-Con?” the vet asked me.
No.
“She’s not bleeding anywhere, and that would be a sign she’d eaten d-Con,” the vet said. He sent us home.
Rat poison contains a substance called warfarin that decreases blood clotting. It is used in humans as a blood thinner. Warfarin poisons animals by stopping the normal clotting that heals wounds. They bleed internally. That’s what the vet was looking for – unusual or excessive bleeding.
Patti did indeed seem fine, though. She’s a funny, hyper little thing, romping around the house and yard. Her constant antics are a delight. A tiny thing growling fiercely. She makes you laugh.
We laughed about our d-Con-proof dog. But no matter what the vet said, we were convinced she’d eaten the poison. “Didn’t faze our d-Con dog,” we chuckled.
A week or so later, Patti stopped romping. We weren’t laughing then. She wheezed. She coughed. She had trouble breathing. She was in trouble – d-Con.
We recalled a sign in Plymouth: Veterinary Emergency Service.
We called. Bring her in, we were told. Now.
Dr. John Krieger is an emergency vet. He’s 29, lives in Brighton, got his doctor of veterinary medicine degree from Michigan State University in 2002.
He saved Peppermint Patti.
First, he looked Patti over. She had swelling under her chin from a needle puncture from doc No. 1. It keeps getting bigger, he told us. The warfarin wouldn’t allow the blood from the wound to clot, so it pooled in a bruise, and the swelling was making it hard for Patti to breathe. Plus, her red blood cell count was dropping.
He gave her a plasma transfusion and vitamin K.
Patti spent the night in a dog hospital. We picked her up the next day, paid the $800-plus bill and figured that with the first vet visit and follow-ups, she’d cost us close to a grand.
$1,000 dog.
Though tired, she was her old frolicking self when she returned home. Still pulling things out of wastebaskets, off tables – she ruined two pairs of my glasses – and being a general nuisance. Cute and a pain in the butt.
When we leave home now, we lock or block cupboard doors and sequester Patti in the kitchen. A couple of weeks ago, I came home and learned from Karen that I’d forgotten to lock Patti up when I left that morning.
On one of our bedroom floors was part of a wrapper from a 750-gram slab of European dark chocolate. Maybe 150 grams remained.
Did you know that chocolate can be lethal to dogs? It’s true.
I was skeptical that she’d actually eaten chocolate.
But back to the doggie ER we went. Dr. Krieger forced Patti to vomit. Up came proof of what she’d done – chocolate and wrapping paper.
Chocolate contains theobromine, a chemical that is toxic to dogs, said Dr. Anna Arthmire, a veterinarian and co-owner of Veterinary Emergency Service.
“Dogs will eat anything,” said Arthmire, 47.
She lives in Huntington Woods with her husband, Marty Mlynarek, 48, also a vet. They also run an emergency animal hospital in Madison Heights.
Vets are seeing more and more cases of pets getting sick from rat poison, Arthmire said. An explosion of the rat population in eastern Wayne County has prompted people to liberally set out d-Con in homes and yards, and pets as well as rats will consume the poison, she said.
D-Con symptoms don’t show up for a long time, but usually pet owners see their dogs eat rat poison and bring them to a vet right away. Those cases don’t become as dire as Patti’s. Also, in cases of chocolate poisoning, pet owners usually notice the missing chocolate and quickly figure out what happened, as Karen did.
“In 20 years, we’ve only lost one patient to chocolate toxicity, and that was because it had just gone too long,” Arthmire said.
Not only do dogs eat anything, but they don’t learn what’s bad for them. Patti has a taste for chocolate now. She watches candy with the eye of a connoisseur.
In the chocolate episode, Patti again spent the night in the hospital. We paid the bill and took home a very tired dog.
A $1,500 dog.
Edition: METRO FINAL
Section: CFP; COMMUNITY FREE PRESS
P.S. Patti is now the $2,000 dog. It happened the day after we had to have our old dog, Toby, put to sleep. he’d had a stroke and couldn’t walk. Toby was Patti’s good buddy, and our little faux bichon’s frolicking antics spiced up the elderly gent’s last months. There had been high winds that day, and some branches were knocked off our maple trees.
It began with shrieking from our back yard. Patti was hurt, but at first we couldn’t see her injury. Then Karen noticed a trace of blood on her coat behind a foreleg, on her chest.
Back to the ER: The vets found it – she’d jumped high, chasing a squirrel, landing on a downed branch of maple tree that wedged between her flesh and her rib cage. Lots of pain, lots of chance for infection. Another night in the ER and $500 later, we had our two-thousand-dollar Patti.
Posted in Bloggery, Peppermint Patti | Tagged | 1 Comment

‘Deadline Now’ and the Ambassador

On December 18, 2009, WGTE-TV in Toledo aired a program called “Deadline Now” hosted by journalist Jack Lessenberry.

The topic was the quest for a bridge, or rather, bridges, over the Detroit River.

Guests were Gregg Ward, vice president of the Detroit-Windsor Truck Ferry, and yours truly.

The Detroit International Bridge Company and its owner, billionaire Manuel “Matty” Moroun, declined to supply a commentator.

WGTE has posted the show on the Internet.

 

Posted in Adventures on the Rouge, Me & Matty | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments