To: Editor, The Rodent Times
From: Bertha Rat, Chair-Rodent, Rat Anti-Discrimination League and Executive Ratperson, National Academy of Research Rats
To the Editor:
I have addressed my concerns to the editor of joelontheroad.com about a recent slur against all ratkind published recently on his blog.
I am sorry to say this presumably worthy human has not been so kind as to reply.
Perhaps he feels it’s beneath the dignity of a highfalutin human blogger to have the decency to answer the plea of a lowly rodent like me.
Whatever the JOTRman’s true motives, I feel I have no choice but turn to The Rodent Times as the pre-eminent publication for and defender of self-respecting rats.
I am referring to the JOTR article in which the author decries the greed and lust for control displayed by three Gannett newspaper potentates who garnered more than $10 million for themselves while firing six thousand fellow humans, cutting the pay of thousands of others and demanding slave-style sacrifices.
Despicable behavior, no doubt.
But why compare these reprobate humans to us noble rats?
There is no justification in all mammaldom for such a likeness.
The indignities expressed on this human blog, the self-styled JOTR, typify not only the entire anthropoid misunderstanding of the rat persona, but they go far to deepen the prejudices humans hold against rats for no good and many bad reasons.
Worse, this blogger maliciously and intentionally confuses the lowest, basest of human motives with the identity of us rats. Frankly, this kind of journalistic misbehavior does us rats no favors, and it defuses readers’ (human and rat alike) repugnance for some of the worst human motives, namely greed for power and money.
I am at one with the blogger for being angry at these Gannett hoodlums for stealing — yes, it is legalized theft! — from their fellow humans. Moreover, it is clear from the blog and I don’t know why this point was not raised that the three punks may well have defrauded owners of company shares who trusted them to further corporate rather than personal interests.
Certainly, I sympathize with the blogger’s rage at human miscreants who bully and bilk fellow humans while lining their own pockets. But in his ire, the JOTR writer seeks to portray the malcreants in an unfavorable light by likening these loathsome humans to us rats.
Rats do not deserve such mistreatment!
Rats do not have pockets to line!
As for the blogger’s supposed “proof” of rat perfidy, by which I mean his notorious reference to “rats deserting a sinking ship,” I say, “Come on! Did anybody tell the rats the boat was going down? Huh? Did anyone think to manufacture, let alone hand out, life preservers for rats? Huh?”
Rats at sea as everywhere are first and foremost volunteers. They serve at will — their own will. That means they arrive and depart when they please.
Rats do not “desert” a sinking ship. Like their human counterpart crew members or passengers, they may abandon the ship — when it suits them.
And when they choose to take their leave, are they not, pray tell, signaling to humans that it might be prudent for them also to jump? Don’t tell me it has never happened that human crew members have sought to save their lives by grabbing lifeboats and leaving passengers to sink or swim.
Save yourselves, humans — look to the rats!
Just because humans are capable of monstrous and outrageous behavior against their fellows is no excuse for pretending these human bullies, dictators and criminals are somehow related to rats.
Rats are pilloried in spite of the good they do.
Think of all the human drugs that have been tested and found safe and effective for curing humans.
Who gave their countless lives so a few humans could survive and fluorish?
Rats!
Let’s have no more badmouthing of rats, please. If human beings behave like thugs, thieves. crooks, hoods and common criminals, say so.
But don’t lay the blame for humans’ poor behavior at the mouse hole of us rats.
It has come to my attention that the JOTR blog has actually issued an apology to the pigs for comparing hogs to these greedy Gannett scoundrels.
Why say you’re sorry to pigs but not to us rats?
Are rats such mean, lowly and deplorable creatures that they alone must bear the burden of comparison to human dregs?
C’mon, JOTR! You told the pigs you’re sorry.
Time to tell the world you wronged us rats.
I agree with Bertha Rat. If one were to read a young people’s book called “Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH,” one would never again look at rats in the same inhumane or offhand way. “Mrs. Frisby” does for rats what Richard Adams’ “Watership Down” did for rabbits. Although theoretically a young person’s book, I and many adults I know enjoyed “Mrs. Frisby” immensely. Try it; you’ll like it.
Two sequels were written by the author’s daughter; although interesting, they don’t have the spark of the original.