Saving newspapers: A modest proposal

By Joel Thurtell

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I could make a fortune with this idea, except I got it from The New York Times.

I’d have to kick something back to them, probably.

For once, it might be worth it.

It’s amazingly simple, really.

If it catches on, it’s bound to reverse the downward spiral of American daily newspapers.

Here’s how it would work: You know how the traditional business model for newspapers goes — the papers employ writers to produce the material that helps sell the newspapers.

The key word is “employ,” in the sense that the newspapers, according to tradition, pay the writers for their work.

The genius of my idea, admittedly cribbed from the Times, is that it turns the tables on this age-old system.

Instead of newspapers paying the writers, in my system, the writers will pay the newspapers for the privilege of pounding a beat and writing copy on deadline that attracts people to read the paper.

(Don’t tell the union folks.)

Why has this not occurrred to anyone before?

It will definitely save the newspapers, because they can raise huge amounts of money by charging writers — and for that matter, editors, photographers, designers and all those other people who labor to put out newspapers — to do the work.

Instead of paying the workers, bill them!

How’d I get this idea?

Why, I learned it from the Times when they tried to charge me for writing a story their newspaper printed 30 years ago.

I want to reprint my story as it appeared in the Times, and for that, the Times wants to charge me a fee.

Brilliant!

The Times paid me $75 for writing my story in 1979. That amount  would be worth $211.61 in 2007.

Take all those writers’ salaries and calculate the inflation-corrected dollar amount, then back-charge them. The could soon make up its horrendous losses by mining dollars from its employees.

Don’t tell me it’s absurd! I got it from the Times.

Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com

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2 Responses to Saving newspapers: A modest proposal

  1. Alan Stamm says:

    We get it, Joel – – they done ya’ wrong. Unfair, unethical and unprofessional, I agree.

    And after four columns on this topic in six weeks, seems like time to move on, let it go, give this well-flogged dog a rest. We’ve read (or not) about Thurtell v. The Newspaper of Record on:

    – Oct. 27, Vanity publishing and The NY Times
    – Nov. 5, Class Party
    – Nov. 12, My Times ‘beer allowance’
    – Dec. 8

    You were right in 1979, you’re right in 2009 . . . but this extended crying in your (unpaid) beer allowance is tiresome to at least one reader.

  2. Fiona Lowther says:

    Would this work for the top brass too? I mean, would assigning editors pay to assign? Would the managing editor pay to manage? Would the executive editor pay to execute? Would the sports editor pay to sport?–oops, no; that’s what Tiger does.
    Let’s see: Which ones would be the Morlocks and which ones would be the Eloi?

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