Monthly Archives: September 2010

Floatin’ bull

By Walker Punt JOTR dramatist A play in three acts ACT ONE Scene: Impressario Bridge board room. Puppy Dog bounces in and spots The Old Man slumped in an overstuffed leather chair. A large scale model of a suspension bridge … Continue reading

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Rattlesnake defense

By Joel Thurtell Doesn’t the Detroit Zoo keep current snake antivenin on hand? Or do they just hand out-dated medicine to dogs, keeping the current supply for people? Those were some of the questions raised and not answered in a … Continue reading

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Slow worker? Off with her head!

By Rival Pong JOTR Labor Writer Finally, a solution to the worker productivity problem. If only Henry Ford had known this trick. There would have been no slow-downs, no work-to-rule, no strikes and indeed no contracts between management and labor. … Continue reading

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Letter to The Times

To: Editor, The Rodent Times From: Bertha Rat, Chair-Rodent, Rat Anti-Discrimination League and Executive Ratperson, National Academy of Research Rats To the Editor: I have addressed my concerns to the editor of about a recent slur against all ratkind … Continue reading

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Italic-Merical prejudyse

By Peter Pizzicato Wannabe JOTR Music Critic From: Peter Pizzicato To: Noo Yawk Tam Dear Tam Editor: I wat to think you fer wunerful enlightnin articl re buy-ass gin Italic-Mericals like I is. Now I no why editer no … Continue reading

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By Joel Thurtell I want to apologize for a recent blog column in which I compared three Gannett honchos to pigs for splitting 10.6 million in salary and bonus bucks while firing 6,000 workers and asking the ones who remained … Continue reading

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‘Privacy’ for snitches

A clerical error appears to have allowed Mr. Withers’s identity to be divulged: In most cases in the reports, references to Mr. Withers and his informant number, ME 338-R, have been blacked out. But in several locations, the F.B.I. appears … Continue reading

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Noisy food joints

By Joel Thurtell Older I get, the more I can’t stand public places with loud music or concentrated high levels of chatter. Know what I mean? Stopped going to a wonderful little Italian joint in Northville, Michigan because I couldn’t … Continue reading

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Book for sale: 5 billion smackers

By Joel Thurtell Like all book prices, the value I’ve set on this one is purely arbitrary. Totally unrelated to cost of production, author’s royalties or any other mundane publishing considerations. In fact, $5 billion may prove too low. Why, … Continue reading

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Tank Town

By Joel Thurtell Love to watch hummingbirds? Hummers feeding, hummers making war — it’s one of my favorite sports. For years at our Michigan home, I hung a nectar feeder under the eave of our house. It got so I’d … Continue reading

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